Religious nutbaggery of the week

It's a marquee week for unintentional comedy among the religious.


1. Pat Robertson warns Christians of "witchcraft" in Harry Potter:
During a May "Bring It On" segment, a viewer wrote that "my pastor says we shouldn't read the 'Harry Potter' series because it contains magic. But how is that different from the Narnia series, which contain the same?"
"Well, Narnia is different. It's not glorifying magic and the occult," Robertson replied. "The lady who wrote Harry Potter [J.K. Rowling], I understand, was deeply involved in some of the occult things."

2. It's been pretty dry here in Oklahoma, so our Governor, Mary Fallin, has asked us all to pray for rain. Since, as we all know, science has proved that prayers come true! Notably, Fallin's request comes only a few months after Texas Governor Rick Perry did the same thing, which – shockingly! – didn't work. I guess drought is part of God's perfect divine plan.
“I encourage Oklahomans of all faiths to join me this Sunday in offering their prayers for rain,” Fallin said. “For the safety of our firefighters and our communities and the well-being of our crops and livestock, this state needs the current drought to come to an end. The power of prayer is a wonderful thing, and I would ask every Oklahoman to look to a greater power this weekend and ask for rain.” 

3.  Speaking of Rick Perry, he's being challenged by the Freedom From Religion Foundation over his prayer rally to fix America, cleverly entitled "The Response: a call to prayer for a nation in crisis."
"Right now, America is in crisis: we have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank Him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy."

You have to love the prayer-rally mentality. I mean, how does it work? Do prayers get amplified when everyone says them together? Would God not really notice if everyone just prayed in their homes? Some might say that this sort of religious pageantry bears a striking resemblance to the Pharisees in the New Testament. Others might say that prayer rallies are really just a way to reinforce groupthink. But not me – no, I know that what the economy really needs is a good laying on of hands. That'll fix the debt crisis in a jiffy!


4. Another creationist museum is in the planning stages, this one called the "Northwest Science Museum". Planned exhibit include the totally scientific evidence that God made all the animals fit on the Ark with magic, and that they didn't have to eat or poop for over a month. Praise! Of course, these intrepid scientitians need your help. Well, mainly your money:
"As you may know, our goals are beyond what we, as individuals, can do on our own.  This means that we must rely on our mighty God to accomplish the task that he has set before us. This also means that we must ask you for help."
Yes! We must rely on God, who of course is all-powerful, to carry out his perfect divine plan. But the Lord needs some cash to get it rolling.

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