Courtesy of Laci Green by way of the effervescent Sarah Bee:
Sex+ Questionnaire For: Mike D
Location: Tulsa, OK
1. How did you learn about sex?
Television, friends, Playboy magazines, and my older brother.
2. Were you able to talk about sex with your parents?
Not really. They never made it a point to talk about it with me, and my dad's never uttered a word while my mom has awkwardly attempted to dole out practical advice from time to time in the form of "be sure to use protection!"
3. Do you remember your first kiss?
Yup. I remember it being really awkward and that I was really self-conscious about doing it 'correctly'.
4. Tell us about an embarrassing moment you’ve had with sexuality/a partner/etc.
I've never been walked in on or anything, so I don't know that I've ever been embarrassed during sex aside from being extremely drunk and/or exhausted and not being able to finish.
5. How old were you when you made your sexual debut? Were you ready for it?
21. I guess I was a late bloomer, which I blame on my uber-Christian teen years. In fact, I came to really resent the fact that sexuality had never been discussed aside from "NO!", and then for whatever reason it's like people were supposed to get married and it would just be there.
6. Are you in a romantic or sexual relationship?
7. Would you prefer being in a relationship or being single? Why?
Right now, honestly, I want to be alone. The last couple years have been full of passionate highs and painful lows. I suppose that some people heal by getting out and playing the field, but I tried that recently and it just made it all hurt worse. Right now I just want to focus on me. Which in my case means spending nearly every free moment with my guitar, and my hopelessly needy/affectionate cat. When I'm absorbed in music, I'm truly happy.
8. Would you ever consider a polyamorous relationship?
I've certainly thought about it, but I don't think I could do it. One woman is tough enough to figure out.
9. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
No, but I've been with someone who was cheating, and I had plenty of days feeling like a piece of shit for it. A hopelessly in love piece of shit, but a piece of shit nonetheless.
10. What was your longest relationship? Your shortest?
Longest: 2 years; Shortest: 1 day? I dunno, if it's really short does it even count as a relationship?
11. What do you look for in a partner?
Um, wow. Well, a truism is that you often don't really know what you want until you see it, and I'd hate to miss out on a woman who can challenge me just because she didn't fit into my little pigeonhole. But, generally speaking... a fit body, a pretty face, intelligent, funny, assertive, comfortable being social and being alone, non-religious, liberal, sensual, kind, compassionate, and not a ginger.
12. Do you have any “deal breakers”?
Piety, obesity, and worse of all... constantly seeking validation because of horrible self-esteem. I want a partnership, not a self-help course.
13. What is your favorite way to ask for consent?
I don't know, it just happens. Or, I just grab her ass and say, Let's have some waffles and then later some intercourse.
14. What is your favorite position?
I don't even know what it's called, but I'm kneeling over one of her legs while her other leg is on my shoulder, and, well, you can figure out the rest.
15. Would you/have you had a one night stand?
More than I'd like to admit. Sometimes it's just what the doctor ordered, but I'd prefer a friend to a stranger.
16. What’s your favorite place to be touched by a partner?
There's something about the neck that turns me into putty.
17. Is there anything that you’ve wanted to try sexually but haven’t (yet)?
Nah, I've had my share, and I think I have a pretty good idea of what I'm into and what I'm not. But I'm open-minded, so you never know.
18. Would you/have you had group sex (3+ people)?
No. I might if it were a one-off sort of thing.
19. Would you/have you practiced BDSM?
I don't think handcuffs really count, so... no. I'm not into the leather and chains.
20. Would you/have you done role-play?
Yup. The secret, for me at least, is to just not take it even remotely seriously.
21. What is your biggest turn on?
22. Biggest turn off?
It's a toss up between obesity and ignorance.
23. How often do you masturbate?
24. What do you think is the most erotic part of your body?
My back and arms. That's two, but whatever. Well I guess it's three, since I have two arms, but it would be weird to say that I really loved one of my arms.
25. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
My ability to self-question, natural curiosity, and sense of humor.
26. What’s your biggest accomplishment in the last 3 years?
11 notes per second on my guitar is one I'm pretty proud of. I dunno, really. I can't think of one thing. I'm just happy that I've grown, that have great friends and family, that I'm reasonably financially secure, that I can spend time chasing my passions, and that I haven't let past disappointments turn me bitter. Yeah, but mainly 11 notes per second.
27. Tell us one goal you have for yourself.
I don't really think that way. I mean, I have certain goals as far as fitness, my technical development on the guitar, etc., but I don't worry too much about the future. I just try to spend as much time as I can doing the things I love, whether it's time with family and friends or locking myself away and practicing for hours on end.
28. How do you take care of yourself?
I'm quite introverted, so my therapy is to be alone, playing guitar, reading, writing, and occasionally seeing some close friends.
29. Do you support a woman’s right to choose an abortion if she accidentally gets pregnant?
30. Do you think prostitution should be legal?
I think so, but I am on the fence.
31. If you had a baby boy, would you have his foreskin removed (circumcise him)?
I dunno. Based on what I know now, probably not.
32. Should same-sex marriage be legal?
33. Should comprehensive sex education be given in high schools or abstinence only?
Abstinence-only is great if you're dumb enough to think ignorance is bliss, and that kids won't start to figure things out for themselves if you don't talk to them and guide them.
To Infinity, and Beyond
34. What do you want to be when you grow up?
hope I never grow up.
35. Do you want to get married?
I'd like to, but at this point I care much more about being with the right person than walking down the aisle. Besides, I hate weddings.
36. Do you want to have children?
Maybe... it would have to be the right time with the right woman.
37. What do you want to do for others before you die?
I don't really think about that sort of stuff. It doesn't matter. I do my best with one day at a time.